Best lines from Love In A Time Of A Scholar

He can hear the rolling of her eyes, which is not just unsettling but also uncalled for.

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The most noticeable things about him are his ears. They look faintly hazardous, perched on either side of his head as if they don't quite belong there—as if perhaps Merlin uses them to direct airplanes. Gwen must not care about the atrocious size of them. It can't be that she hasn't noticed.

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"Fine, I'm a hopeless failure," Arthur groans, and actually contemplates drowning himself in the soup. "Once again, you're right and I'm wrong. Are you happy now that you've successfully demolished all hope that I will ever manage to find a girlfriend?"

"Forget girls, Arthur," Morgana says, soothingly. "Go back to your book. What's it about, again? Medieval kings and their swords?"

Arthur hangs up on her, but grudgingly admits she deserved winning the point this round. She'd probably been saving that one for weeks.

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The next thing he does is call Morgana.

"This had better be a matter of life and death," she grumbles upon picking up. "It's six in the morning on a weekend, Arthur."

"Something's happened to me," he starts.

Morgana hums and guesses, "You've had a bizarre dream that's caused you to realise that the real reason you've been jealous all this time is because you've been pining after Merlin, not Gwen?"

He is silent for approximately the time it takes to have a heart attack, then very convincingly says, "No."

"...Oh my god," she says. "You did?!"

"No, I did not," he shouts, and immediately knows he's done for.


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I'm hopelessly in love with you, he types.

This one borders the truth so closely that Arthur panics just looking at it, and has to delete it all before he goes into cardiac arrest.

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from Love in the Time of A Scholar for camelotsolstice by themadlurker on LJ.